You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize