Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
