Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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