PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
