remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize