whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
