My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
