careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
