in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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