Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize