it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
bring money and cleavage
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
