You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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