Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
smell my finger.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
