i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
