Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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