So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
