u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
