There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
