he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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