my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
