I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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