she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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