At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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