New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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