I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
