you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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