Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What a dumb baby whore.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
