What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
