we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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