you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
