so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
