when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
there is glitter all over my balls
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