What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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