"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
