I only kidnapped one of them. chill
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
smell my finger.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
