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Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize