Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
