My friends, they love my intelligence
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
