Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
