Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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