do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
