i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
