talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
