Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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