I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
