My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
