She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We're too hungover to prance.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
