i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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