no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
