It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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