Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
