After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
