He had one of those small greek statue penises
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
the raccoons are back...
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