the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
