you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He passed out mid-signature
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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