He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
