I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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