i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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