dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
